Final update: the issue I originally posted about returned while printing Benchy with *very* conservative settings. I ended up buying a new 0.4mm nozzle, capricorn tubing, and a few other things to replace what I thought might have been causing the issue.

And while waiting for delivery, I decided to splurge and bought the FLSUN QQ-S-PRO (a delta printer with a massive print area).

I absolutely LOVE my new printer, which has shown zero issues caused by anything other than my inexperience.

I think I'll eventually cannibalize my Monoprice to build a completely custom one that runs Marlin as a tinker/hobby project. Thoughts before this thread dies/closes?