Cannot Level Ender 3 Bed

Hello,

I recently purchased an Ender 3 V1.

I have since had alot of trouble with levelling the bed. I have tried the usual paper method, but I haven't been very successful with that approach. So much so that I decided to purchase a 3D Touch and chose to not use it until I installed it.

Here I am with the 3D Touch and I still cannot get an even first layer.

For my start G-Code in Cura, I have:

G28
G29

Before, on one side it pretty much would hit and scrape the bed, while on the other side, there wouldn't be enough squish, while on the other ones, it would be somewhat good squish although on the side of too much squish.

In addition to the paper method of levelling the bed, I have tried levelling the bed with the 3D Touch. The way I did this was, I used Pronterface to send G30 commands to each corner of the bed. I would then iterate this process, by going between the four corners and adjusting the knobs until each corner read 0.0 or pretty close to it. By the end of it, my four corners were something like 0.2, -0.1, 0.0, 0.3.

I figured this is pretty level. But I wasn't convinced. So I take my straight edge and put my phone on top of it with an Angle Measuring App. This app pretty much read 0 degrees perfectly. In the direction of the x-axis gantry, the bed read 1 degree of tilt. I measured the x-axis gantry, it was also 1 degree.

I think my bed is quite level at this point. Certainly so compared to the paper method and how freely I swivelled the adjusting knobs using that method. With the Pronterface G30 approach, I'm doing excessively fine motions with the knobs to have it right near 0.0.

I figured this is as level as I've been. On top of that, I have the 3D Touch. No way I can't have a perfect first layer, right?

Wrong, it's still bad, although better. Same characteristics. Some places too much squish. Other places not enough squish.

If anyone is wondering how my 3D Touch is doing, I did several measurements at one point. Here are my values after about 20 measurements:

Mind you, these values are before I levelled it, but are still relevant for assessing the consistency of the 3D Touch:

Mean: 0.9292
Median: 0.93
Max: 0.95
Min: 0.91
STD: 0.0119

These values are in mm. STD seems decent, doesn't it? What on earth can I do? I'm stumped. I was so excited for 3D printing and I can't bloody get passed the levelling stage